


most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs

by cutebutpsyco



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Infinity War spoilers, M/M, Missing Scene, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 01:32:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14462238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutebutpsyco/pseuds/cutebutpsyco
Summary: CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM AVENGERS: INFINITY WARSummary in the notes.Hopefully, this won't be too ooc.





	most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs

**Author's Note:**

> Missing scene from Tony and Stephen conversation after that Stephen gives the Time Stone to Thanos, just more romantic. 
> 
> I ship the two of them since Doctor Strange and I'd been too sad about IW ending so I decided to write something about them. I hope this won't be too ooc but I'd never write anything Marvel related before and in the case you're wondering, yes, the Sherlock reference was obligatory. 
> 
> Nothing belongs to me, just the shitty storytelling. Title from Daughter's Youth.

The pain was something Tony convinced himself he could bear. It wasn’t pleasant but was an old friend who numbed his mind. He wasn’t going to scream. He wouldn’t have left Thanos that satisfaction. He grunted, though, fighting against his heavy eyelids. He blinked his eyes; the suit was almost useless and every movement would have brought him closer to death. He could feel the blade against his skin, not deeper enough to be a threat to his life but if he would move, if Thanos would move... He let them down, all of them. Peter... the kid... Peter... where the hell was him?  
_Quill, bring him away!_ He thought, but words didn’t come and he had no idea where either Starlord and his friends, of whom he didn’t catch the names, were.

He let them down too. It was his plain. They were so close. He let down Pepper, he let down Nat and Bruce, he let down Clint and Rods, he let down Steve! He let down Stephen. That was the most painful thought.

_”If I have to choose between you or the kid and the Time Stone I’d choose the Stone.” He told to him._  
_“I get it.” He didn’t, not really, but same years in Strange’s role, he would have made the exact same choice._  
_“I won’t put you in the position to have to make that choice,” Tony told him, later, that very same night._  
_“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Stark.” Strange winked at him and Tony understood a couple of things about that ‘would you ever fuck your clone’ experiment. They were similar and different, they didn’t speak but they knew, both of them, that there was something they shared._

He turned his eyes to the sky trying to understand where everyone was, and if someone was hurt. If he was going to die, it was fine, but not Peter, god, not the kid!

Tony found himself thinking about a god he didn’t even believe in. He couldn’t let the kid die, he was his responsibility, it was his fault if he was there. The black at the corners of his eyes was so tempting. He couldn’t fight against it anymore. He blinked, trying to not look at Thanos, he would but just not now. Stephen was there with blood rushing from his forehead but still conscious; Tony could see something in that hypnotic steel blue eyes. He was thinking about something. _Run! Take everyone on the earth._ He wanted to say; he had no idea if any sound left his lips. Tony didn’t like that light in his eyes, though. Not on that occasion, anyway.

“I’ll give you the Stone!” Stephen yelled loud enough for everyone to hear. Thanos definitely did. He turned to Stephen, the blade poking deeper into Tony’s flesh. “Spare him, and I’ll give you the Stone.”

 _Fucking idiot!_ mouthed Tony, he couldn't say if Strange understood it but it wasn’t important. The goddamn Stone was shining green in the air between Stephen and Thanos. The moment it was close to Thanos, the man drew his blade away from Tony’s side and opened a portal. Tony was this close to breaking down: they failed, his plan failed and it was because of him. Because didn’t matter what Stephen said, he chose him over the Infinity Stone. _Would you have chosen me if we hadn’t fuck?_ Tony wanted to ask but he didn’t dare. He wasn’t ready for either answer.  
He bit his lower lip, instead, while he tried to fix what he could of his skin with the suit glove. Stephen let him: not orange sparkles appeared on his toned chest. He was absent-minded. That mesmerizing eyes now dull. 

“I had to.” Whispered. Tony had a million of answers to that, though, he stayed silent. He could understand Stephen even too easily. It was like reading the same story from different points of view. They compensated each other. _People like us can only hate or love each other, there’s no middle ground. And you don’t hate him._  
Maybe he didn’t love him, yet, but he knew he could, he knew he would. 

Tony nodded. “I get it,” He said. He didn’t realize how his voice was weak and broken and raw. “I’m glad you choose me... even if we are doomed.” He always had the worse black humour, especially when everything else was lost. He could see Stephen was going to say something. Something that, very likely, he didn’t want to hear. And the faster way he knew to shut him up was keeping his mouth busy. Tony put his lips against Stephen’s and he opened a moment later. They had kissed before but it wasn’t ever like this: their kisses had been fervid, raw, feral, more teeth than tongues, a struggle for who had to be in control.  
This was sweeter but not less deep and tasted of guiltiness, both Tony’s and Stephen’s. They were still kissing when Quill approached.  
“I’m sorry to interrupt you,” He said as they parted quickly. Peter didn’t sound sorry but still, it wasn’t the best moment to point it out. “But Thanos has five of the Infinity Stones and if he takes the sixth we are all dead.”

“You have a spaceship, right?” Strange said. Neither he or Quill seemed to see, or better, nobody noticed but Tony who was looking in their direction: Mantis and Drax started to turn into what looked like pieces of burned paper. A moment they were there, the moment later, only ashes stood in their place. He turned, trying to see if someone else noticed but Quill and Strange were speaking and he couldn’t see Peter anywhere and panic filled him. What if he disappeared as Starlord’s friends did?  
“Quill...!” He called, the last time he saw the kid he was jumping from a spider web to another, he thought him safe as far as he could be in the middle of the war to preserve the universe how it was. The half-human idiot turned to him and... fuck! He started to disappear as well. He said nothing and everything Tony could do was hoping it wasn’t painful; he knew he could be the next one but it wasn’t that the reason.

“Tony...” Strange called him. His voice was defeated. Stark was scared to look at him. “I can try to open a portal for you and the kid.” He was disappearing as well. Tony didn’t look at his body but kept his eyes steady in Stephen’s. _If you disappear while we are in it we’ll be dead too._ He wanted to say but he didn’t. It wasn’t the only thing he wanted to say. Though, he said nothing. He watched him, his face dissolving in the air, his eyes still fixed on his face. He knew Strange broke a vow for save him and everything he had had back was... Whatever that was. He took his head in his hands, trying to figure out a way to get out of the damned planet. Thanos wasn't going to get away with that.

“I’m sorry for Sherlock...” Tony had no idea what the hell he was saying but was grateful to hear the kid's voice. Peter seemed to see the question mark in Tony’s eyes. “Doctor Strange... he reminded me of someone and then I realized: Sherlock from the BBC.” If he took something from spending so much time with him, that was the black humour, he supposed.  
He tried to smile but he knew it was a poor attempt. He turned to the ashes that had been Stephen Strange and let them flew from his fist, again on the sandy dust of Titan.

“Mr Stark...” Peter called him, a moment later. There was something strange, in his voice, something he couldn’t place but something wrong. Tony turned to him, just in time to see the kid disappear into the blue. He wanted to cry, he wanted to find Thanos and kill him, but he couldn’t, he was blocked there, alone, surrounded by his friends’ ashes. He asked himself if it was his fault; if ashes weren’t the only things he was able to create. He didn’t know, everything he knew was that Stephen gave the Time Stone to Thanos because of him and he died because of that.  
“I’m sorry.” He said, to the sky but, as always, it wasn’t listening.

**Author's Note:**

> I suppose it's clear but English isn't my mother tongue so, if there's some typos or something, let me know.  
> Say hi on [Tumblr](http://staryjoy.tumblr.com/)


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